Do you typically get nervous, feel stressed, or find yourself worried?
If you are feeling afraid and nervous as a part of your normal life, then in crisis, like with COVID, you are going to feel even more angst. Today, I will be sharing some advice on how to keep your fears under control by finding your inner peace.
Anxiety is a debilitating fear that takes over your thoughts and paralyzes your actions (figuratively, not literally). Fear is natural and necessary for survival, but anxiety is a fear that never stops, that does not turn off once danger has gone. Anxiety is fear about dangerous situations that don’t exist.
If that is your normal, and then your normal gets disrupted with a real crisis, like this one with the Coronavirus, COVID- 19, your worries and fears will jump off the charts. Nothing feels certain now, you can’t control any of it, and your support systems are sorely missing.
Let me share a few thoughts about how to create the right mindset for the days and weeks ahead. I want to give you 3, well really 4, tips on how to help. And at the end, I want to leave you with a free resource as well.
Hi, I am Brett R. Williams, psychotherapist and Chief Executive Director (CEO) of the Gathering. The Gathering of Good People is a nonprofit that is dedicated to helping you with personal growth and emotional healing. In addition to sharing mental health advice and free content we also provide support to anyone and everyone who needs help, through our self-care groups.
Please subscribe to our podcast and YouTube channel to grow even more. Also I would encourage you to connect on our Facebook page and group.
In my home, we have a bunker where I have six months worth of food, water, medical supplies, and even guns and ammunition in case someone wants to take my supplies.
Over the last ten years I have tried to imagine every type of disaster, fire, flood, economic, war, and pandemic. And I have figured out what I would need if it were to happen. What all that planning and preparing has done is to create a ton of angst.
Thinking about all the “what ifs…” in the world will make you CRAZY. But I still needed to be prepared, so how do we strike that balance?
On the GatheringofGoodPeople.com, I have created an anxiety class and I want to use the principles there to help in this situation. If you are interested in the class please contact me, Brett@GatheringOfGoodPeople.com because you will need to be added to a cohort of people taking the class together.
Fear is always about feeling unsafe. Safety is our primary human need. Without safety, nothing else happens or nothing else matters.
Well, safety is made up of three things.
- Certainty
- Control
- Connection
What’s happening with COVID-19 has created just the opposite. It’s new so there is a lot of uncertainty. We don’t understand it, therefore things feel out of control. And now with people being quarantined, we have lost our support systems.
The answer is to focus back on the three ingredients that form our psyche, our identity, and our mindset.
You and I are made up of our:
- Habits
- Thoughts
- Community
It is our HABITS that create CERTAINTY in our lives. Our THOUGHTS form our beliefs, and of course our COMMUNITY brings CONNECTION.
Thanks for learning with me, hope it helps, and have a great day!
No, I am just kidding. The answers are all there in that summary statement about what makes safety and what creates our mindsets, but let me break it down in more practical terms. I will go over each of the three ideas in detail.
First, let’s start with thoughts, they are the easiest to focus on and to start changing. “You are what you meditate upon.” is an idea we share a lot in the Gathering. Whatever you think about becomes your reality, that can be good and bad.
When you think about all the “what ifs..?” in the world you will be flooding your emotional brain with fear and angst. The reason we all love to go to the movies is because when we see someone in love, or with super powers, we feel for a minute what it would be like to be in love or to have superpowers. The emotional brain can’t separate what is real or only a thought.
Therefore you need to be careful about what you think about and how long you do it. I have two suggestions here. 1. Spend twice as much time thinking about the outcome you want. Think about the happy ending you are hoping for with all this mess. “I am so excited to see my life back to normal.” That should be where most of your focus lies.
- Limit the negative thoughts to a post or a journal entry. Thoughts typically have no beginning or end, but writing does, so write out your fears, don’t think about them.
I have created a forum on the GatheringOfGoodPeople.com to help you share your ideas and even questions, and be able to connect to others as well. This connecting piece will be huge and we will address it at the end of this post.
Secondly, you are made up of the habits or behaviors you practice daily. “You are what you practice,” is the way we say it at the Gathering. To be a great athlete you need to practice your fundamentals continually. If you don’t then you will be a poor athlete, what you practice daily shapes who you are.
If you are quarantined home or normal life is disrupted with the virus, it will disrupt you emotionally. Stick to your daily routines as close as possible. Or create a new schedule, one that includes exercise and getting to bed at the same time. Your brain craves structure to hold on too. Your daily meditations will help you get through.
Thirdly, “You are the company you keep.” This is the final piece that makes you you. Whoever surrounds you will influence you. Your ideas, your feelings, and your behaviors are influenced and reinforced by those surrounding you.
In these crazy times your support groups have been disrupted making this last element broken. In the void you may watch more news, again flooding your mind with negative thoughts, and putting yourself in the company of negative people.
Please limit your connection with the media. Decrease your screen time, and limit Facebook, the news, or other sources of negative community.
Gathering of People is here to provide helpful tips and strategies to help you or your loved ones struggling with overwhelming fear around the coronavirus or with general health concerns. I’ve created blogs and podcasts that contain information that you need to know about the coronavirus and helpful tips about how to mitigate against increased fear and worries.
Join the Coronavirus Anxiety forum on the Gtps://gathering good people.comet’s gather online and create some good company. If you are experiencing feelings of fear and nervousness about the Coronavirus, then gather with others who understand you. Together let’s support each other.