What would you act like, what would you do, if today Love was your driver?
That’s our consideration, for the Gathering, this week. And it being Father’s Day as well, I wanted to use this theme of “what would you do if your driver was love” to explore what does love look like in our action and deed with our Dad’s and everyone else.
In today’s topic I wanted to share a little about what that would be like to live in love, and encourage you to take up the consideration, and maybe even encourage you to come join our Gatherings.
Today we are going to focus on shifting what drives you, from anxiety to love. Let’s use Love to drive out anxiety.
Have you heard the scripture verse that says, “Love casts out all fear.” Well, if you put fear on one end of a spectrum what would be on the other end? Maybe peace, maybe courage, but I want to consider love and being the opposite of fear.
Fear is a collapse on self. Anxiety turns our attention inward and moves us into a self protective place.
Peace is a calming of fear. It is the absence of our self contracted collapse of attention. But love is the free gift of our attention. It is the opposite of fear, for it is when we focus off ourselves and bring our attention and energy to others.
This morning I woke up and wrote a long note to my Father. It’s Father’s day so it seemed like a fitting gesture. I didn’t focus on my dad as a father, it felt like the letter would be too much about me and how blessed I was to have him as my father.
Instead I focused the letter on him. I expressed how wonderful a man and person he was. I let him know how brilliant I thought he was. I shared about my deep admiration for his spirituality and love for God and others.
In return he shared with me how grateful he was, and he shared about a letter he wrote his father. After his father’s death, my dad found Grandpa’s old leather wallet that he always had on him. In the billfold was a folded up piece of paper.
As my Dad unraveled it, he saw it was a note that he (my father) had given to his father, (my grandfather).
Grandfather was a proud man, and shortly after his heart attack his work reassigned him, to given less responsibilities. His job wanted to take the stress off him, but my Grandfather saw it as demotion and a blow to his self worth.
My father wrote a note to his father and told him that “work was work”, “a job is only a job.” What matters is family, and as a father he was the best. My dad shared with his father how much he loved him and how he felt his father was his hero.
That was the letter that was found in my Grandfather’s wallet. He carried it around with him always to remember and remind himself of his son’s love.
What would you do, if today you let love be your driver?” At our last Gathering, we discussed drivers. For many of us with Anxiety, there is a strange dance we do with our anxiety. We hate feeling anxious, the high collapsing energy that feels like is going to squeeze your heart until it will burst.
But if the truth is known we only hate our anxiety when it is a 9 or 10. We live our lives driven with anxiety, “what if…” “I have to…” as our primary driver. And we only hate it when it gets out of control.
Most people don’t even notice when their anxiety is a 5 or 6, in fact, we live off our worries keeping us performing at our best with a little adrenaline coursing through our veins. For most of us anxiety is our driver, it what we use to get things done.
But to get rid of anxiety we need a new driver, and at our Gathering we have been considering love as our driver.
Today specifically, I want to consider what you would do if you were driven by love. What if love motivated you? What if love was your why for everything you do?
To help inspire what that would look like I suggested a book by Brother Lawrence called Practicing the Presence of God.
Brother Lawrence was a 16th Century monk who worked in the kitchens of his monastery. But he has a vision of God, and sense of His presents in all things since he was a young man.
With a simple gift of being able to see God in all things, Brother Lawrence tried to do everything in devotion and driven from a desire to love God. It didn’t matter to him if his life brought joy or suffering, he wanted to love God in every action and deed.
He would pick up a piece of straw on the ground and imagine as if it was part of his service to Christ. Every dish he washed he did it as if he was washing Jesus’ plate. His actions were as normal as yours and mine, but his driver was love.
As the story goes, Brother Lawrence felt a tearable fire within him for four years. Then one day the fever broke and he was overwhelmed with a feeling of God’s Love. This feeling of love never left him.
What would it look like for you to do all you do for love. It would be the love of God, or your love for others. It would be the love of your job, or love of learning. But what would it be like to do everything from love? What would it be like to let love be your driver?
Today, Father’s day, I wrote a note to my father. And it was easy, for the love for my dad is strong and clear. And what would it be for me to write this blog and create a podcast in love for you, those I know and I don’t know yet?
Let me back up one second and help clarify a few points. First, what is love? And second, what are emotions in general and how do they function as drivers?
I want to start with the second thought first, for it is the more general and can be moved to the more specific later.
What are emotions? Why do we have them? What purpose do they serve?
I believe emotions are electrical signals from the brain to the body, through the nervous system. Each emotion has its own electrical signal, or signature, and each emotion helps drive our actions and behaviors. Emotions are electrical charges that drive behavior; drivers.
Negative emotions have a high frequency wave, and are felt as a tension or collapse within your body. Anger, anxiety, hate, and stress all have collapsing high energy.
While good feelings, like love, joy, and peace, have a lower frequency wave and are felt as an expansiveness within the body. They are felt as an openness.
When I am driven by anxiety, I am pushed by a collapse and tension in my body. And when I am driven by love, I don’t feel pushed but drawn toward someone or something. I am driven by a desire to serve and help. There is a sense of calm that comes with good feelings.
Therefore to change my driver from anxiety to love is to do the opposite. It is a complete reversal of current. The striving and trying of stress and fear can only be replaced with the longing and giving of love. “Love casts out fear.”
To let love be your driver, you will need to shift your focus from getting to giving. Instead of trying to get the dishes done, give your attention to your dishes as if you are giving your service to God.
What is love? Love is the free gift of your attention. In my book, You Can Be Right Or You Can Be Married, I share how I discovered love to be attention. The two are inseparable, you can’t love someone without giving your attention to them.
So, what does it look like to let love be your driver. It requires us to shift our attention off ourselves to do all we do for others. When I fold clothes I give my attention to the person for whom I am folding.
When I clean the counter or drive my car I give my attention to all the blessings around me. To let love be my driver means I bring my attention to everything I am doing.
“What would you act like if you let love be your driver?” Consider this idea with me this week.
Created for this episode, there will be a mediation for you to follow and use throughout the week. Please check it out and use it.