Did you know your brain knows how to handle the crisis?
Humans and in fact all creatures from the dawn of time have had to deal with horrible rotten no good problems, like possible death.
Currently, we are in a world in crisis and there is a bit of panic going on, in part because we forgot how to handle a crisis. We forgot how to activate our brain’s survival mode.
Most creatures have the ability to deal with danger, a lion for example, and when the lion is gone they can turn off their fight or flight mode and go back to normal life. Over the years we humans have forgotten how to turn off our feelings when we no longer need them.
That’s right! You are going to learn to turn off your emotions. This conversation feels a little bit odd because I want to teach you how to turn off or at least turn down your emotions, in this time of crisis.
For the last 50 years, we (those of us in the mental health field) have been trying to pull people out of crisis mode or survival mode and teaching us to thrive. The key thriving has been to learn to feel our feelings and emotions.
Well, times have changed, and feeling our feelings is not as much a priority as being able to control and regulate our feelings. It’s a better definition of mental health anyway. Emotional regulation is the key to good mental health, having the ability to control, turn on and turn off our feelings as needed.
So if you want to learn more about emotional regulation and good mental health stick around and rediscover the secret to surviving a crisis.
Hi, I’m Brett, your favorite shrink. I am a psychotherapist and executive director of the non-profit the Gathering of Good People. Today I am recording for you a new episode of a series called, ANXIOUS.
Anxious is all about anxiety and how to deal with our fears, particularly now with the coronavirus, COVID-19.
Have you heard the phrases:
He’s all talk and no action
Actions speak louder than words
She talks things to death
Paralysis of analysis
These colloquialisms speak to a pattern of thinking that actually stops people from taking action. Typically too much talking prevents us from acting or reacting. In a different time, this was seen as a negative. But I want to suggest that in a crisis, this kind of thinking is very useful.
To explain what I mean I need to go inside your brain and explain how your different minds work. You see you have one brain, but you have 5 different minds. Each of your different minds has different functions and therefore are useful at different times.
In our current crisis with the covid-19 virus, your emotional mind is not where you want to be. Instead, I would suggest you get up into your left neocortex, your verbal minds. Let me explain why.
Here are your 5 minds;
- Leo (Left Neocortex)- Logic and words
- Rio (Right Neocortex)- Creative and pictures
- Emma (Limbic System)- Emotions and energy
- “B” (Brainstem)- Body and actions
- Connie (?)- Consciousness and present
In a crisis, we need to move back up into our thinking mind (Leo). Leo can process information dispassionately and analytically. He is part of the thinking brain. The thinking brain thinks but does not act. The reactive brain acts but does not think. You can use these different brains to shift from feelings to logic.
If you worked at a large corporation and you were in charge of emergency preparedness you would come up with a plan and be able to spell it out in detail with no emotion. It would be an intellectual exercise. That’s because you are using Leo, your thinking mind.
Leo can deal with emergencies with reason and not reactivity because he does not deal with emotions. He is logical.
What isolates Leo is his words. Another part of the brain has verbal centers, and therefore the rest of the brain is limited in understanding words. If you can keep talking about a situation you will force yourself to stay in your logical mind.
The key to making the shift from feelings to thinking is words!
We all know from therapy that talking about your feelings always feels better. We think that’s because we are expressing or releasing those emotions. What is really happening is that you are shifting the feelings out of your limbic system and moving them up into your cortex.
After talking through a painful memory of those feelings has a different experience, one of less intensity. Then you access those thoughts again, you are thinking about them with your thinking mind, not your emotional mind, and there is less energy in the memory. Thus it feels better.
That’s what needs to happen now. You need to verbalize your emotions and anxieties because it will force you to shift the energy out of the limbic system and into the Leo your left neocortex.
Here are a few ideas that are tried and true to get you back up into your thinking brain.
Journal writing– The page forces you to have a flow to your thoughts. You can’t loop ideas over and over when they appear on the page. You will have a beginning, a middle and an end to thoughts when they are written down. That does not happen when they are in your head.
Join our forum– Go to the GatheringofGoodPeople.com and click the community tab and join our for anxiety support group. There you will find other people who know exactly what you feel and will not judge you or make fun of you for your feelings. It’s a safe place to TALK about your feelings.
Talk to others– Yes, socially distance, but don’t isolate. Call and talk with friends and family. Stay connected, it is a core need for feeling safe.
Talk to yourself– Just this morning I was walking my dog, and I started to talk outloud to myself about what I was thinking and feeling. Right away I could feel a little better as I shifted my focus from my emotional mind into my verbal mind.
Affirmations– Jamming your mind with words and not feelings. There is no such thing as multitasking, your brain can only think of one thing at a time so force your brain to focus on comforting words.
If you want to learn more go to the Gathering of Good People YouTube channel, or check out our podcast, “Anxious”.